Stricken
by Hades'Queen
Summary: With the war over, Bill Weasley feels that his life is falling slowly apart. Is it a mere passing madness or something more? And how does Luna fit in? Sequel to Bill's Wedding but stands alone as a one-shot.


**Disclaimer: **Characters and world are property of J. K. Rowling.

**Authors Note: **Story can be considered sequel to my story Bill's Wedding, however, it can also stand on its own. You don't have to read Bill's Wedding to understand what's going on in this one. This is a one-shot, although I might put up a third part to this, but not anytime soon. Story takes place after DH and is DH compliant. If you haven't read the book, there are some spoilers. Although by now I expect everyone to have read the book already.

**Summary: **With the war over, Bill Weasley feels that his life is falling slowly apart. Is it a mere passing madness or something more? And how does Luna fit in? Sequel to Bill's Wedding but stands alone as a one-shot.

**Stricken**

There was plenty to be happy for, now that the war was finally over and their world free of the threat of the Dark Lord's dreadful tyranny. But that freedom had of course come with many losses. No one knew it better than the Weasley family, who'd lost one of their own. To them, the days following the Final Battle at Hogwarts, revolved around the preparation of Fred's funeral. Those days, all the Weasleys, including Harry and Hermione, were to be found in the Burrow. Even Luna seemed to become a permanent fixture at the Burrow.

Like Fleur, Harry, Hermione and Luna came daily to help with mundane tasks that understandably, the grieving family could hardly think of. Bill especially appreciated Luna's presence. Unlike the Hermione and Fleur she knew the pain of losing someone close to you and oddly enough, her presence was soothing and comforting, not just to the eldest Weasley child.

Luna especially seemed to devote her time to George, who seemed as unconsolable as their mother. For days and weeks, Luna hardly seemed to leave George's side. On the day of the funeral, she even held George's hand and seemed to give him strength.

Bill, like Charlie, Ron and their father, were the least openly affected by Fred's passing. Not because they didn't feel it, but because they wouldn't allow themselves to. They felt that their grief had to be put off and for the moment they had to be the pillars of strength for their family. But grief id an odd thing. It strikes you, sometimes when you least expect it to.

For Bill, who had numbed himself to it in those first couple months after Fred's untimely death, was finally stuck by it as Christmas steadily approached. Bill was unsure why, perhaps it was jut due to Bill's sense of unrest, that had been building up for quite some time.

He'd been working now at Gringotts Headquarters for longer than he'd ever expected. He dreadfully missed the excitement his previous occupation as a curse-breaker, which he had given up for Fleur. Fleur, who he had not been able to touch for months due to the fact that she was pregnant with their first child and did not wish to be touched.

When Bill first heard the news that she was pregnant, he'd been thrilled. Now, months later, he was frustrated. It wasn't that he was not happy about his first child coming. He was rather looking forward to it. He looked towards the birth of his child as the coming of his greatest adventure. No, what he was frustrated about was his life in general.

He was bored to death of his desk job and he could not help but feel that something was... off with him and Fleur. Ever since the passing of Fred, something had changed. At the time, her presence near him had not given him comfort. He was grateful for what she had done for his mother, for looking after his parents and sibling and making sure that they were all eating well and seeing to their daily needs. But she could not provide him with the consolation or the peace that he needed. Her words could not make the anger he felt simmering beneath the surface at having his nineteen-year-old bother taken away.

He recalled the day of the funeral, seeing the way Luna reached for George's hand and clasping it gently in hers, giving it a simple squeeze when she saw him shed tears. Incomprehensibly he'd felt envy towards George, feeling Luna should be holding his own hand, not George's because out of all the Weasley's, he'd once been the one who had known Luna best.

Instead he had Fleur clinging to his arm, shedding silent tears that soaked through his shirt. He'd had to console _her_, when it we his own kid-brother being lowered into the grave! He felt that it wasn't fair. That it should have been him instead of Fred, because he was the oldest and supposed to look after the rest of his sibling. He wondered bitterly where he had been when Fred was crushed and the light that had been his life was snuffed out.

And now, here he was, in the dead of night, kneeling at his brother's snow-covered grave; weeping bitterly as he had neglected to do for so long. He ignored the numbing cold of the snow seeping into the cloth of his pants at his knees. Through bleary eyes, he stared at the name etched into cold stone, that could not in a million years represent the sun that was Fred. He stared angrily at the years, their short expanse, and the dash that was supposed to represent an entire life.

Bill choked on sobs as he gazed up to the skies. It was a clear night, and the moon was full and shining brightly. Bill wondered as he had a million times before, why Fred? Why a boy with such a bright future? Why the child that had always made him laugh? Why Fred who left behind his other half, who would never be complete without him, even if he came to terms with the loss of his twin?

Bill felt his head droop, so his chin rested against his chest as he continued to sob as he thought of memories of the twins, those two red-head imps. It was like just yesterday they were in diapers, bouncing on knees and laughing their little infant hearts out. He recalled an instant, when he was supposed to be watching Fred who was nearly one at the time. He'd taken his eye off him just for one second and the next thing he knew, he heard a cry that caused him to whirl around and see Fred had rolled off the bed. Bill had never been frightened so much.

But Fred had been fine. He'd always been a tough little guy. He'd always bounced back from his injuries, just like George, with a weak smile and a somewhat lame joke. But now...?

His sobs came to a momentary pause as he was startled by a hand on his shoulder. Jerking his head swiftly, through tear-filled eyes he saw a figure in white, nearly-formless robes. In the moon's light, the figure seemed to glow and have a halo. For a moment, he wondered if the figure was an angel. Wiping his tears, his eyes were able to focus and saw that a head of blonde hair was causing the halo effect. He gasped as his eyes met clear blue eyes, that looked wise and old, despite the youthful skin around them. It was Luna, not an angel, but to Bill as close as he would ever get.

"Luna, what are you doing here?" he asked, his voice a croak as he looked at her concerned face with awe. He hadn't seen her in months and since his wedding had received no letters from her. As he looked at her, his heart clenched to realize that he'd actually missed the odd, young woman. He wondered how he had ever noticed that he needed her presence in his life. Luna was really a break from the mundane. She had never had been boring.

"I brought jasmines for my mum," she said as she removed her hand and knelt down next to him. Bill wiped his tears on his sleeves, and nodded, recalling the fact that Mrs. Lovegood had also been buried in this very cemetery. For a moment, he forgot his lung-squeezing-grief and was enraptured by Luna's unexpected and surprising presence.

He noted her hair was for the most part loose, and there was a white star-gazer lily tucked by her right ear. Her robes had an odd collar that was not quite a turtleneck as it was loose, but almost seemed like a scarf wrapped loosely several times around her neck. However, her calm and serene features, blank of expression, seemed unaffected by the December air.

He watched as she removed her hands from her lap and reached to her hair. He watched her with curious eyes as she puled the flower from her hair and laid it on his brother's grave. Bill felt tears springing in his eyes at the simple but oddly moving gestures. Bill choked on a sob he wanted to hide from her, and when she turned to look at him with her large and lovely eyes, he looked away in shame.

He was stunned when he felt her arms wrap around his shoulders and one of her hands gently but firmly guiding his head to her shoulder. "Let it out Bill, there's no shame in it," Luna whispered, using her fingers to trace ghost touches in his back and scalp.

Bill broke into tears at this and reached around Luna to embrace her while burying his head in her shoulder. He clutched her so hard to him, that he didn't notice that he'd pulled her diminutive and slim frame into his lap, or rather in a position where she was kneeling, practically straddling one of his legs.

However, Luna ignored this and merely held Bill to comfort him; pushing aside the fact that in all the time that had passed, she still loved him. Her feelings she easily pushed aside as they weren't really important; Bill's grief and heartache mattered more than her own.

Luna wasn't sure how long she sat there, stroking his hair with one hand while the other traced wide-sweeping patterns into the expanse of his back. Time seemed to have lost its meaning, seemed frozen in the crisp December air, but Luna didn't mind. She didn't care that Bill's tears had soaked through her robes and wet her skin, or that his hands held her so tight that she felt he must be forming bruises, she didn't even care that he was crushing her form against him and that he made it difficult to breathe. She'd take it all, and so much more, if it would help ease his pain.

She sat there partially straddling his lap, holding him gently. She was unaware of when she started humming. She was hardly aware of her own pain, which was not only physical. She pained for him, his sobs broke her heart as did her love for him. It hurt to have him so near, to touch him, but know he could never be hers. However, she could not think of that now, nor could she think of his scent wafting faintly in her nose, only slightly overpowered by the night's air.

Instead she focused on her humming. Doing so, she realized it was an odd lullaby her mother used to hum for her. Her heart clenched with pain at this, but she had no time to feel the sadness of it, as she realized that she could breathe easier now. Bill had loosened his grip on her, but yet refused to let her go. She could feel his arms, warm and strong, still wrapped around her. She could also feel his hands, one near her shoulder and the other splayed halfway up her back, directly in the middle, pressing her firmly to him.

It was only when she felt him stop crying, and only sniffling gently, that he loosed his grip on her enough that she could pull away. Not caring that she was straddling one of his legs, and that this was inappropriate, she only pulled away slightly to be able to look in his face. His eyes, puffy and red sought out hers. His nose too, was red like his lips which looked bruised and swollen. His cheeks and scars, sparkled with the moisture from his tears.

Pulling out a handkerchief, Luna gently cupped the side of his face with one hand while dabbing at his tears with the other. Bill watched Luna clear his face in awe of her gentleness. His hands were still locked around her waist. "I must look a wretched sight," he tried to joke as he choked on a chuckle. His voice felt incredibly raw and harsh from all the crying.

"You'll always be the most beautiful person I've ever seen, nothing will change that," Luna replied matter-of-factly in her sing-song voice, as her eyes slowly drank in his features.

Bill felt his heart beat hard at this. It was only then that he realized how close her face was to his, and how warm her lithe body felt against him. Though her figure was hidden beneath her robes, he could feel the curve of her waist under his fingertips. He could feel the small swell of her breast on his chest and feel her soft and yet firm thighs wrapped around one of his legs, one of them enticingly close to his manhood. Lastly, he could feel the warmth that emanated from her womanhood touching the top of his of the thigh she was straddling.

"Luna," Bill breathed questioning as he closed his eyes. He was not sure what to make of her statement or of her proximity, although he knew the latter was his own fault. All he knew was that he felt the familiar rush of excitement coursing through him. He felt his blood lit on fire and for the first time in months he felt alive. It was like Luna was all the adventure he'd ever need. Holding her like this, it was what he'd expected to find in Fleur.

Fleur, part veela; Fleur, champion of her school for the Tri-wizard tournament. He'd thought Fleur would be wild, the kind of woman who'd hold his interested and be able to keep up with him. Sadly, she turned out to be, beyond her beauty, extraordinarily domestic. Though she was uninhibited in bed and strong-willed, she was very high-maintenance.

Luna studied Bill's face when he closed his eyes. The way he'd breathed out her name made a shock of pleasure shoot directly from her center. However, seeing the almost pained and regretful look that crossed his features, she wondered. She was sure he was thinking of Fleur and felt that perhaps it was time for him to go home.

Leaning in slowly, she placed a gentle kiss on his forehead, saying goodbye to a longed for possibility, knowing it would never happen and that was as it should be. She pulled away slightly to look at his cinnamon eyes, staring wide-eyed at her. "You should go home Bill, to Fleur. I'm sure she's worried," Luna said softly as she moved to get up. However, Bill's hands on her tightened as his eyes searched hers wildly.

Bill pressed his face to her hair. I twas soft and smelled sweet and clean. Without much thought, he ran a hand through her wispy hair while his eyes unfocused, and he thought of the girl in his arms.

For a bit of money, he used to watch over her when he could. Even as a child, Luna had been adventuresome. She used to crawl about her garden, inspecting everything she could. He'd had to keep a sharp eye on her as she liked to taste everything and crawl into tiny nooks. She was a handful and ever so curious, but she was a joy. She she never cried and even when she was barely able to walk, her eyes always had a vague and yet knowing look about them.

As a teen, she had a knack for making people around her feel awkward, but for herself she'd never felt embarrassed. Though she knew people around her laughed at her expense, she always remained poised and confident. He knew that at times she felt lonely. Knew of her joy when being included.

Though Luna was different, she was still human. She was very special. She had a great heart. She was also very loyal and courageous. He knew she was brave and would give her life to protect her friends and to protect her ideals.

Luna was everything he looked for in a woman; everything he'd foolishly thought he'd found in Fleur. "I don't know if I truly fell in love with her, or if she used her veela powers to enchant me," Bill whispered into Luna's hair, not knowing he was doing so. "Or maybe I allowed myself to believe that because of her beauty, her origin, her achievements and her unique parentage that she'd be perfect for me."

Stroking his hair, Luna furrowed her brow. He sounded so confused and lost. For a moment, Luna wondered what she was supposed to say. She was seventeen and had very little personal experience. Though she'd physically explored several aspects of love, the only boy she'd ever really loved was in her arms, and married. What could she possibly say to him to help him best negotiate through his personal mire?

"You were so incredibly happy the day you married her," Luna reminded him softly, as she herself recalled that day. The way he smiled at the prospect of marrying Fleur, he'd been resplendently happy.

"Yes, but things were different then. I was part of the order and we were at war, I hardly had time to really think, we all could die at any moment," Bill said dully into her hair; not saying that at the time he hadn't had the time to be bored of life's mundane things, things that had been luxuries in their torn world. "I shouldn't be troubling you with this, you're too young," Bill sighed as he recalled that he was speaking to a seventeen-year-old, a girl his baby-sister's age. Slowly he extricated Luna from himself. However, he still could not part with her completely and held her loosely in his lap.

Luna suddenly smiled kindly to him, in that way of hers that always made him feel like he was the child and she was the adult. "I'm your friend Bill; that's reason enough to tell me, despite my age," Luna said.

Bill almost laughed at his foolishness. Yes this wonderful, odd girl was Ginny's age, but unlike Ginny, Luna had never really acted like your typical teen. Also the wizarding teens of Luna's generation all had to grow faster then those before them; the last war had rested heavily on their shoulders and they carried the burden well. Looking in her eyes, those large blue orbs deep as the seas, he knew they would bring in a new era in their world; a brighter future.

"I've been privileged to have known you," Bill said fondly, caressing her cheek gently and smiling as he looked deep into her eyes; those beautiful eyes that so many others found disconcerting.

Luna smiled gently at this though her heart was beating erratically in her chest. It was starting to feel surreal to her. It seemed he was bearing his soul to her as never before and the way he was now looking at her took her breath away. He'd never looked at her like this. In fact, no one ever had, not even the boys that responded to her physically.

This look, it was more than lust. It was a look with traces of desire but also with plenty of longing and tenderness. It was gentle and yet ardent. It hinted at fiery passion, but also quiet devotion. It promised adoration and fulfillment and so much more than she could describe or had ever heard of.

It deeply confused and excited her. However, it also filled her with something new and unfamiliar, trepidation. She'd never really feared anything before, not even dying. She knew there were worse things and she was certain she was facing one now; obtaining your heart's greatest desire and then losing it. It was a loss you had to live with, but she didn't know how one was supposed to live with it; how was it possible to?

Losing Bill, it would be different than loosing her mother. Her mother's love was was unchanging. Luna knew that her mother would always love her and that not even death would change that. Though she was aware she'd never again see her mother as long as she lived and would always miss her, but she knew that one day she would see her again.

But Bill? Bill was a dear friend, and the man that she loved. She knew that he cared for her and that his sudden interest in her ran deep, but how deep? For as long as she knew him, Fleur had been the only girl who'd held his interest for longer than a couple months. She'd thought Bill loved Fleur and that love would last forever, after all he married her. But here they were, almost a year and a half after their wedding and he seemed so unsure of whether or not he loved Fleur or ever really had.

Luna looked into his eyes and wondered why she was even putting so much though into it. He was grieving and confused, there was nothing more to it. Whatever he felt now, wasn't real. Smiling sadly, Luna cupped his face in her hands. It was time for her to go home and wake Bill to reality, but first she wanted a taste of her greatest dream.

Leaning in so she could feel his breath on her face, Luna tilted her face and brushed her lips softly against his. She closed her eyes and savored the sensation. His lips were lush and yet cold from the winter air. Yet at the same time they seemed to burn her as they attempted to respond eagerly to her.

Luna firmly held him in place as she moved her lips against him with practiced patience. She adjusted her body, pressing closer to him as one of her hands slipped behind him to get a hold of his hair. When she felt his hands grip her hips and try to pull her closer, Luna decided it was enough.

Before Bill was aware of what was happening, Luna pulled swiftly and deftly from him. His eyes snapped open as soon as his hands were empty and the warmth of her body was replaced with the night's chill. Blinking his eyes to adjust to the darkness he sought her out. He caught her figure as it moved around his brother's headstone.

Bill looked at Luna quizzically as she stood to face him. She smiled at him, almost indulgently as she placed her hands on the cold stone that represented Fred's loss in the world. "Goodnight, dearest friend," Luna said in her sing-song voice, a hand dancing on the headstone as she glided away in the darkness.

Bill sat and watched her until she disappeared with confusion. His body cried out in grief at the loss of her warmth. His heart too ached as it struggled to beat normally. He longed to call out her name and beg for her to return to him, but he was left speechless and incapable of moving.

He was so confused, and he didn't know what was happening. Why did he crave Luna like this? His body and soul seemed to long for her. He was aware that Luna was unlike every other creature in this world. She was celestial and divine, but she was only a girl, a girl he had once looked after. Luna wasn't even like the girls he'd known at her age. She was above falling in love and craving a boyfriend. But then, what did her kiss mean? And how was she so good at it?

Bill groaned as he placed his hand on his lips, wondering how he had gone mad so suddenly. His lips were burning with Luna's searing kiss still, and he dreadfully wanted more. Soon that feeling she had given him, what he'd been missing all along, would dissipate. Even the memory was beginning to feel like a dream and the only proof that it wasn't so was the white lily laid on his brother's tomb.

_**~Fin**_

**A/n: **Hope you all enjoyed it. Please Review!


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